In a break from tradition football supporters
don’t stand up to hate Man U.
A good part of last week was devoted to explaining to Statto that Sir Alex Ferguson hadn’t died. Not paying attention in class, our Brazilian statistician had assumed that the sudden media wave of Fergie retrospection had been triggered by the great man’s demise.
Even though it was hard to explain the difference between an obituary and the tsunami of Fergie content that has subsequently engulfed us, Statto’s penny has finally dropped that Fergie’s still around. So why did he resign, he asked, in that way statisticians have of searching for logic in everything?
At AMNT Towers we like to give conspiracy theories a bigger spin than you’ll get in the average launderette. We think that the country’s surprisingly lukewarm response to United winning a 20th title gave Ferguson the hump. It suddenly dawned on him that he’d reached that point in sporting life where the continuous plunder of titles bizarrely works in reverse, to create increasingly hollow victories (one could even call this Fergie’s law, though Celtic fans might dispute that).
Fergie’s problem was that 20 titles is so beyond comprehension that people have stopped comprehending it. Throw in the Salford factor, with many people in Old Trafford’s catchment area being unaware about what comes after the number 20 (one of the problems of cigarette pack maths), it became clear to Fergie that the numbers game was finally up. If he really wanted us all to continue to genuflex he was going to have to go one step further and finally cash in on longevity too.
One can imagine the “they’ll bloody well remember me now” breakfast speech in the Ferguson household on the morning of last week’s announcement, almost as clearly as one can now imagine the “bloody hell what have I done” one, in the Moyes kitchen this morning. The reality of course is that he hasn’t gone anywhere. Like an interminable Tolkien tale, with you-know-who as Gandalf, and his successor (who is even starting to look like one) playing the Hobbit, this looks like it has the legs to run all the way to Mordor and back.
Yet in bidding him a temporary farewell we’d like to remind Fergie that whilst some people may have retired, others are still hard at work trying to fathom whether the last twist of the season has anything more to squeeze out. The final round of games will be reviewed later in the week when we publish the results from last weekend. You can start to predict them now by clicking on the magic link below.
Whilst you do that please also click on our Blog survey link. This will take you a few seconds (there are only 6 questions) yet it could save us hours of working out what to do during the close season. Whilst it’s a totally anonymous survey anyone failing to complete it will be called back early from their summer holidays for extra training.
ALL MOUTH NO TROUSERS 
It will be interesting to see what our beloved author (he an exiled Mancunian of a distinctly darker shade of blue) will be writing this time next season. Will Roman, for instance have added yet another managerial obituary to the ever growing condolences book at The Bridge? Down in SW6 (Fulham/Parsons Green border I’ll have you know) it’s a close run thing on the coaching conveyor belt, closer almost than the chicken run at Ewodd Park. Talking of the north, our scribe seems to have further forgotten his roots, mistakenly adopting the urban myth that The Theatre of Dreams in the City of Salford. Not so! (And I should know having once lived 500 yards from the hallowed Stretford turf!) Predictions for the end of this season? Jose or the Fat Spanish Waiter to the City of Manchester Council Ground? Mancini to Chelsea? And next? Who knows, but my hunch is that maybe, just maybe, RVP might just have to wait two seasons to change his shirt number to 21. 🙂
I bet if you asked most souther based United fans (the majority) if OT was in Salford they’d nod vigorously. My hunch is that Moyes will be an instant hit, unlike Mourinho and Pellegrini, so next season’s result will be largely the same as this.
Errata: “Ewood Park” and “…is in the City of Salford…” Oooops.