Anybody who has taken part in the first read through of the script at an amateur dramatics rehearsal will have recognised the footballing significance of last weekend.
With all eyes upon you the first time it comes to your part, the only thing you are thinking about is not fluffing your lines.
It doesn’t matter that the words come out with the tonal variety of the average terrace chant or that any emphasis is lost in the mud of your comprehension of the script, you just want to get the damn thing done and sit back and watch the next poor bugger go through the turmoil.
And so it was last weekend, as a flutter of 2-0 score lines said job done throughout the country. Now that the panto season is firmly behind us, absolutely nobody wanted to fluff their lines, with even Big Sam managing to get in on the act. Though when the top 7 all win of course there’s a sense of pointlessness about the whole affair. If there’s no snakes and ladders in the weekend’s football dramas we’re a bit stuck for something to talk about on a monday Morning.
As our latest results indicate, if you were looking for an upset, you would have had more chance in the worst curry house in the land. The surprising thing was that so many of us failed to back Sunderland’s trip to Fulham as one of the (many) defining relegation moments of the season. Unless Michael Jackson steps down from his Craven Cottage plinth in the guise of Neymar’s double, Fulham look likely to be washed away. Obviously their proximity to the rising Thames waterline makes this an each way bet – one way or another they could float off to obscurity by the end of the season.
Hopefully the coming weekend will give us more to gossip about, with Manchester United’s trip to Chelsea guaranteeing at least some shift in the counters on the board. Guarantee that your predictions won’t float off into obscurity by clicking on the magic link below – then get back to learning those lines.